How to Stop Blaming Others by Looking Inward to Create Positive Results

I’d like for you to think about your daily morning routine. During that routine are you taking some alone time to evaluate yourself and your relationships? If you aren’t you should, taking some alone time every morning to challenge your mindset, think about who you are, and the things you have done, can make improvements to not only yourself but your relationships as well. Looking inward daily can help you see your areas to improve. During the alone time while you’re evaluating yourself you need to ask, “Who are you deciding to be today?” and “How are you going to treat others?” depending on how you’re looking at yourself will determine your answers. Even if you’re here thinking this doesn’t apply to you keep reading because even though you won’t admit it out loud this is something, we all do.

When thinking about some of your life or relationships you’ll tend to notice that most often you’ll find yourself irritated or frustrated with certain situations or with others. If you’re frustrated with someone else, you’re most likely putting the blame on them for your irritation. We tend to blame others due to our own insecurities as well as the fact that we have no direction in our own life. We place expectations on them but forget to tell them or clarify what those expectations are, this creates massive tensions in your relationships. If you aren’t able to communicate with others about what you expect its most likely because you’re too insecure about what you want. At that point, it’s important to separate yourself from the expectations you have for other people.

Without direction, you secretly become frustrated with others when things don’t work out, thinking they are the ones doing things wrong. The reality though is that you’re expecting them to do things your way. The problem is that neither you nor they know what your way is. You can fix this with communication. Communicate with yourself first, figure out who you are and what you want. It isn’t until you know what you want that you can communicate what you expect from others. You need to find and discover who you are. When you begin to dig deeper into yourself, you begin to love yourself and most insecurities will fade away because you’ll be more confident. To begin, you need to find which direction you want your life to go in.

Here is a concept to explain why finding your direction first is important. Let’s say you have a kid’s toy to build with a bazillion pieces to put together. Now you have a picture of what it’s supposed to look like after assembly but there’s a lot of screws in front of you if you put the wrong screw in the wrong place the toy won’t work properly. Also, trying to put the wrong screw in the wrong place can be pretty frustrating because sure, it looks like it goes there but no matter what you do it just doesn’t seem to fit perfectly, even if you hammer it into place a screw will not fit where it shouldn’t go. So, it’s pretty smart when building a toy to follow the step-by-step assembly instructions, that’s what guides you to the desired result. Finding your own direction is the same concept. You need to know what you want the result to look like FIRST, then follow the instructions so you know what needs to happen to get the results you wish. The same concept goes for when you do not effectively communicate with others, it's like showing them a picture of how the toy looks and telling them to put it together but not giving them the instructions. There will be a lot of screws jammed into the wrong spots and the results won’t look or perform as they should. It will frustrate both of you throughout the process and the results won’t be what you hoped for.

Without clarity and direction most feel like they’re wearing a mask and aren’t truly being themselves. Without knowing where you want to be you will never fully understand just how precious every moment is. If you feel like you’re wearing a mask, take it off by deciding to become the game-changer.

Being the game-changer means being the person who understands themselves as well as others. They do what they want and dream of. Their goals are clear, and they can achieve them because they know not only what they want but also how to get there. Also, what they expect is clear for both themselves and others so there’s no confusion and everyone understands what needs to happen for things to work out.

We aren’t meant to sit around and be comfortable and lazy we are meant to be a game-changer. It’s important when discovering your direction to not sit around trying to decide. All that happens while you’re deciding is that it gives you the time to hash everything out. Deciding is a remedy for sitting still, it isn’t the guarantee of a better life. If you’re sitting still deciding, the moments that are passing by, you’ll never get those moments back. Wonderful opportunities will pass you by the longer you wait by wearing a mask and staying comfortable.

If you find yourself frustrated and irritated look inward and discover who you are, if you’re confused or indecisive, you’re in a standstill and need to reevaluate and decide who you want to be and do. Until then you will continue to be confused about what you want and that will affect not only you but your relationships as well. We aren’t guaranteed the next moment so take the step now! Evaluate yourself and discover your direction and be the game-changer, you’ll make every moment matter and see the results you had always hoped for.

It’s time for a change, to do things differently. When you decide who you want to be and put action to it, your direction will follow, and you’ll begin treating others differently. That will create so many beautiful opportunities and make the end results so much easier to achieve, no more frustrations or irritations only beneficial results will follow.

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